Life is full of tests. I think that every day, we face some kind of test. Whether it's to see if we are committed to what we believe or to who we love or a test of our character. Everything in this life seems to be a test.
The other day, I was stressed. An idea came to mind and all of a sudden I was running full force after that idea. I literally dropped everything to pursue the concept. It made total sense. I did the web page, the email, the graphics, etc. I was feeling like it was the right thing for me and it would yield the results I craved.
Then...BAM. It hit me.
A traditional business is said to take 3-5 years to become profitable. And, many businesses fail before they hit that mark. I did the math, figured out the start-up costs and the business plan for the next 3-5 years. I would work about 16 hours, trekking around town to make a couple hundred dollars a day. I started to work on the schedule and realized that at no point would I be flexible enough to see my kids. I believe in the idea, and I think it's a needed service in the area.
BUT...
The one thing I want most in this world is to be a F/T work at home mom. And, the concept I came up with created the exact opposite scenario. It may put money in my pocket daily, but in the long run, I'd lose time with my kids. And, when I calculated each child's age, plus 3-5 years of me barely seeing them...I CRIED.
Those calculations meant that 3 of my 5 children would be on to college or beyond. I'd barely get any time with them then, that's for sure. And, the youngest two, would be in school full time, one of them would be a teen!
Nope. I was making a grave mistake. It literally gave me chest pains.
So, I'm considering it a test. Yes, I chased the shiny object for a couple of days. But, when I sat back and really thought about the end result I wanted to create, I realized that the path I had been on just a few days ago, was the RIGHT one for me. I would be able to provide a valuable service that is needed, and at the same time own my own business, create time and financial freedom, all while being the F/T mom I desire.
If you feel that the path you are on, isn't quite right....don't beat yourself up about it. And, don't stay on that path. Look at what end result you crave, desire, need, want...and find the path that leads to THAT end result. It's only a test...and it's a learning & growing experience.
Create a life you love by allowing your passion and purpose to guide you to the path of your heart.
Sometimes, it is hard to get out of a certain frame of mind. If you are upset or worried about something, it seems to snowball and everything goes "wrong."
Times like that, I need to reset my mindset. I have to start journaling or listening to encouraging & inspiring music. I need to intentionally shift my emotions from upset, angry or frustration to grateful, thankful or creative.
It's not always easy to make a quick shift, so the key is to continuously surround yourself with positive energy, people, words and thoughts until the shift happens. Read daily affirmations or a book that you enjoy. Watch a comedy or a few videos that make you smile and make your heart feel at peace.
Do it with intention so that you can go from a negative place to a positive one. Everyone has different "go-to" songs, books, movies; methods that will make them feel good.
Then, go back to whatever you were doing that frustrated you and see if you can't approach it from a better place.
One thing I have learned over the years is that you have to take a step back sometimes, and look at what's going on. When you're knee deep in a situation, you don't always see everything that is going on outside of it. But, when you take a step back, your perspective changes a bit and you can see things you've never seen before.
You have to do what works and what gets you results. And, you have to move beyond the things that are not serving you. Sometimes, this may be physically moving, other cases, it may be moving away from people. If you are not seeing the results you want, then take a step back and look from a different perspective.
And, do it now.
Let's say you want to get physically fit. Are the workouts you are doing, giving you the results you want? If so, then continue doing them. If not, find some variations or other exercises that do.
If you want to find the perfect person for you, are you mentally and emotionally ready for a relationship? Are you hanging around the places and people where you could meet this person?
If you want to make more money, are you open to receiving more? Are you doing everything you can in your current job or business to receive the income you deserve? Are you careful with the money you already have? Do you have a financial plan in place?
If you want success, in whatever way that translates for you, are you doing everything you possibly can to create success? Are you mentally, physically and emotionally willing to achieve success?
Take a step back and look at what you are doing. Do more of what works. Release or replace what doesn't.
I'm looking forward to sharing more content with you every single day.
I'm looking forward to creating a kick-ass program that will help you transform your life, one step at a time.
I heard this phrase today and it got me to thinking...
So often, we let what other people think and what they say, deter us from doing the things we truly want to do. We also worry about what other people may think, even though we don't necessarily have proof that those people are even thinking about us.
Where does that come from?
It's not from "them", it from inside of your head. It's what you think about yourself that allows those fears and insecurities to blossom. Somewhere, somehow, the fear of being rejection or not good enough, set roots in your mind and in your heart & soul. And, as I've said before, what you think about, you bring about.
So, when that teacher said your work wasn't very good.
When that friend chose her boyfriend over you.
When that manager promoted the other woman in your department.
When that family member told you that you've put on weight. Etc, etc, etc.
You bought into it.
You absorbed it and you allowed it to take hold in your mind.
Like a weed, those words grew quickly and infected your whole being.
And, then you started to beat up on yourself, too.
After all, "they" must be right. "They" have this item and that spouse and those clothes and blah, blah, blah.
But "they" do NOT live your life. "They" probably don't even think about what you've got going on nearly as much as you worry about "them." Because humans are selfish, by nature. And we think that everything is about us. It's true...and that's the human nature.
Guess what...by giving time and emotion to "them" or what you believe "they" may be thinking, you feed that nasty weed inside of you.
STOP IT.
You have an inner beauty that requires nurturing, love and sunshine.
You are a beautiful woman.
You have a purpose and we need you.
You have a light inside of you and we need it to shine.
I'm just like you.
Most of my life I've struggled with being "good enough."
And, I have doubts and fears, just like you.
I have struggles and challenges, just like you.
The thing is, you need to focus on YOU.
You need to stop worrying about who thinks what, what they're doing and so on.
You need to stay in your own lane.
Don't compare yourself to anyone; there is no one like you.
Don't listen to negative people; they don't walk in your shoes.
Don't let others narrow-mindedness affect you; you've got a purpose to fulfill.
Don't concern yourself with what other people own; you are blessed and highly favored.
Spend a little time today with YOU and have a chat.
How do you feel?
What do you need?
What are some things you want to achieve during your transformation?
What action steps can you take today, to get closer to your goals?
What challenges are you coming against?
How can you resolve these challenges?
How will it feel to resolve these challenges?
And, above all else, take time for gratitude. I talk about that HERE I believe in myself. I believe in you. I'm rooting for you, hope you're rooting for me too. Joy PS: I'd love to have you join my new Fab Fit Fine Facebook support group. A safe place to get encouragement for women, like you, who want to feel fabulous, fit and fine...it's a state of mind, hon. <3
It's one thing to say you're going too do something; open declarations and intentions.
But to follow through on what you say is where your true character shines through.
I began my transformation journey 5 days ago and I stated that I was going to work on my mind and body. Every morning I work on my mind, doing my daily journaling and listening to recorded coaching calls during my commute.
Today, I began my daily walks. Now, I've tried to walk everyday but I knew that I'd have to figure something out for work.
So, I created a new habit today. Small protein-filled snack and some water, then a brisk walk down the road and back to my place of work.
I also skipped the lunchtime coffee that I usually have, full of sugar and creamer. I also made sure I drank at least half my body weight in water today...which is a big deal because I'm not typically a fan of water.
Making small changes helps to create new habits. For example, every time I'm thirsty, at work, I reach for my water bottle instead of my coffee cup. After a week of doing that, one cup of coffee lasts the whole work day now. Meaning less caffeine and sugar, at a gradual decline.
For me, these small changes, implemented on a consistent basis are the key to creating new, better habits.
And following through on what I say it's as important to me as it is important to the people that believe in me.
So today, I walked the walk, not just talked the talk.
One of the things that I need to do as part of my transformation is step outside of my comfort zone and do phone calls.
Now, I love talking on the phone but the idea of doing discovery calls always intimidated me. I felt that I would get rejected or be made to feel like I wasn't competent to help anyone.
Ironically, I do know what I'm talking about. And I also know that coaching is not like therapy. I'm not going to fix anyone. I'm going to help them fix themselves. And, I also know that not everyone I speak to is going to be a perfect fit for me, nor me for them. And I'm okay with that.
So what was the block? Just my own mindset. So I'm walking the walk not just talking the talk. I shifted my mindset and am open to conducting discovery calls for free.
There's no pitch on these calls. Its all about me talking with my ideal market and getting their insight, learning what they need and helping them get started on their own transformation journey.
There isn't even a product to offer at this point. Just some conversation and coaching.
I can't wait to speak with you.
You can also comment on the blog, below and let me know you're interested and what is your biggest struggle and also what is your biggest goal.
Today, I went back to working Mondays after a month of being off. As much as I enjoyed the extra day off, it changed my paycheck in a couple of ways.
But, because of the new schedule, I was able to pick up my youngest son from school today. He was surprised to see me and it was great having a few minutes one on one with him.
The weather was amazing so I was able to take the kids to the park and we had a really nice time.
There's a lot of other drama going on in my life right now, but I made sure I appreciated the beauty of the day, the benefit of a good job and the quality time I was able to spend with my kids. And I just realized I didn't get to do my video for today so I will focus on catching up for tomorrow.
Whatever is going on...there's no reason you can't take a few minutes to be grateful. My transformation journey is only on day 3, but I know I'm on the right track.
I believe in myself.
I believe in you.
I'm rooting for you,
hope you're rooting for me too.
It might be physical pain, like the soreness of walking uphill, as I did today after going for a nice walk in the park. Or, like withdrawal from sugar and caffeine.
Sometimes the pain is in your soul, like the changes I have to make in my living situation. Or the stress of not having the money I need to do the basics.
But the rewards will be greater than the pain. The end result is the focus I need to keep so that I can get through the days ahead.
It's not going to be easy but it will be worth it.
That's what I hold on to. That's what will keep me going.
As you go through your own transformation, keep your eye on the prize my friend. It's the only way to keep it together.
I believe in myself.
I believe in you.
I'm rooting for you,
hope you're rooting for me too.
Your mind must be convinced that it needs to look for the end results. That's why I set a 90 day challenge for myself. Even though it's a lifestyle change, having goals gives me a forward focus and helps me gauge my progress.
Once the mind is convinced of something-anything-it seeks evidence to prove itself right and craves the supporting actions. If I told myself that I will never lose weight, get a better job, make more money...the subconscious will focus on these things and seek evidence to make it true.
That's why daily affirmations, intentions, visualizations and goals are so very important. It will constantly refocus you to look at where you want to go despite where you might be.
Now, sometimes you're going to have unmet goals. But that's where gratitude exercises and forgiveness comes in to play. We all have those off days. We all have challenges and obstacles. ALL OF US! It's important to focus on what is right and going well. Forgive yourself for what didn't go as planned or when you have a mental or physical breakdown. Then, let it go. It serves no useful purpose to hold on to the dead weight.
Another vital component in a transformatio journey is SUPPORT. A support system will celebrate your wins with you, give you a pat on the back when you struggle and extend a hand when you've fallen. True support provides constructive criticism...helpful advice and suggestions. As well as a shoulder to lean on when you're weary.
Nobody is perfect. We all have our faults, struggles, challenges and even addictions. Knowing you're not alone is a tremendous relief.
Last night I did an exercise for my mind. I created a transformation short list.
From overweight to 125#
From smoker to non-smoker
From sloth to exercising 3-5 x a week
From broke to 6 figure income earner
From in debt to debt-free
From homeless to home owner
From p/t mom to f/t mom
From nobody to mindset & wellness maven
From trapped to total freedom
From stressed to blessed
From struggling to happy
I let it flow and that was the list I created. I have a long way to go but I feel confident. More confident than I have in a long time. I feel totally aligned for a change, not just partially aligned in this way or that.
My name is Joy Marino. Welcome to my blog. I am a mom of 6, a Veterinary Technician, an Author and a Coach.
Today I started on a journey. For the sake of goal-setting, I will say it's a 90 day challenge. But, in reality, it is the first chapter on a life-long journey. A journey that will take me to highs and lows. A journey that will have twists and turns, periods of euphoria and devastation. After all, isn't that what life is? A journey?
I created an introduction/Day 1 video to share a bit about this journey. Let me tell you, I went WAY out of my comfort zone to do this video. I have become very self-conscious over the past few years. But, I know that in order to grow, there are pains to push through.
My transformation is not the typical "weight loss" journey. It's about transforming my mental health as well as my physical health. I started out this year with the intentions of becoming a Life Coach. And, I began to target Mompreneurs. I've spent many hours working on content, learning new techniques and implementing a great deal of concepts to help me get my message out to the world.
AND...it's all awesome, real-deal shit. BUT...it's not all of who I am. I still felt something was missing. Something that I needed to deal with before I could help others. And, last night, while relaxing in the tub, I began to think. See, water is my "thing"...meaning when I'm in contact with water, or even just sitting watching the ocean, my thoughts become productive, clear and progressive. Ideas flow. Clarity happens. Motivation and inspiration strike.
I truly want to work as a Mindset coach. But, there was more. And, I targeted Mompreneurs because that's who I am. I am a mom and an entrepreneur. There are some crazy sets of challenges when you need to be 100% for your kids and 100% for your business. And for all entrepreneurs, with or without kids there's also: if you work outside the home, that's another 100%. And, if you have a partner or spouse...and friends...all 100% too.
Anyway, I digress. I do that often so you may want to just get used to it. I've been referred to as a young Edith Bunker at times. If you don't know who that is...you're probably NOT in my age group. LOL.
So, my thought process went to this, and I'm summing it up here as best as I can (and in my video above, too):
I want to inspire and empower women who are "40-ish" to get mentally and physically fit.
My journey is going to be as real as it gets. I'm no fitness guru. I'm no "greens only" kinda gal. I am not a nutritionist or a personal trainer. I'm not allergic to gluten or a vegetarian. I'm just a regular woman who needs to get her act together.
However, wherever my journey takes me is NOT where you are supposed to go. This isn't about helping you lose 35 pounds like I plan to, or stop smoking or eating clean. This is about me sharing the real shit I go through to get where I want to be before I'm too damn old to get anywhere at all. Or, before some illness forces me to dramatically change my lifestyle.
In turn, it will undoubtedly inspire women to shoot after their OWN transformation journey. I don't know if I can inspire 10 women or 10,000 women. I don't know if I can make a living doing it, either. But, once I realized that I wasn't doing what I needed for myself, that's when my focus shifted. I'm no good to anybody if I drop dead from a stroke or get so depressed that I don't want to leave the house anymore.
How the hell can I help anyone like that?
So, my Day 1 video is up. And...good, bad or ugly, I will be doing a daily video under 10 minutes to share what's going on, what my thoughts are and if I even got a second of exercise in that day.
Speaking of which, it is GORGEOUS here in Jersey! So, after work today, I took the kids to the park and we had a ton of fun playing kickball. I ran around with my kids...sometimes, really running my ass off...for almost an hour. It felt great, but I think I'm a bit sore. I will be tomorrow, that's for sure.
I also switched my sweetener to sucralose in my coffee this afternoon and chugged a bottle of water.
I used the only spare $1.27 I had to buy that since I forgot to fill a water bottle before I left work.
Oh yeah, I mentioned in the video...part of what I'm going to share is how when money is tight, I cope. I drink tap water...OMG!! And, I eat ramen noodles...yes, I said it. I've had two cigs, just while I wrote this long-ass blog post AND I'm going to take a short nap. It's been a long week, but it's Saturday night! I'm not very healthy right now, but, that is the REALITY of life for some of us. You don't always have the time or resources to do it "right" so...
DO THE BEST YOU CAN, WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, WHERE YOU ARE.
A motto I say daily. The part that makes the difference..."the BEST I CAN" If you can eat better...DO it. If you can skip that donut...DO IT. If you can walk on your lunch break for 10 minutes....DO IT.
At the end of the day, you need to have peace in your mind, heart and soul that you did the best you could. And, if you slipped off your plans, forgive yourself and get back on plan tomorrow.
